Mr. Akpors Jokes - Drop Plenty Of Them
submitted wednesday 8 may 2014 by Naomi /s/JokesEtc    report abuse

A married couple went to the
hospital to have their baby
delivered.

Upon their arrival, the doctor
said he had invented a new
machine that would transfer a
portion of the mothers pain to
the baby's father. He asked if
they we're willing to try it out,
they both very much in favor of
it.

The doctor set the pain transfer
to 10% for starters, explaining
that even 10% was probably
more pain the father had never
exprienced before. However, as
the labor progressed, the
husband felt fine and asked the
doctor to go ahead and "kick it up
notch".

The doctor then adjusted the
machine to 20% pain transfer.
The husband still feeling fine.
The doctor checked the
husband's blood pressure aand
was amazed at how well he was
doing at this point, they decided
to try for 50%.

The husband continued to feel
quite well.
Since the pain transfer was
obviously helping out the wife
considerably, the husband
encouraged the doctor to
transfer ALL the pain to him.

The wife delivered a healthy
baby boy with virtually no pain.
She and her husband were
ecstatic.

When they got home,
their gate man (akpors) was dead with pain.

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Naomi wednesday 8 may 2014
Ekaite: Akpors honey.. Why did u fix our
wedding
on december 29th.
Akpors: dats is bc we will not spend much
money,
at least 80% of d people we knw will not come
since they wil be in d village.
Ekaitte: hmmm honey u will never change, dats a
good idea.
Akpors: yes darling and also we will have enough
left overs after
wedding..(FOOD)
Ekaite: dats y i agree to marry u Akpors
darling...u think
smart.
Akpors: oooohh ekaite
my banana, i love u too

Naomi wednesday 8 may 2014
Girl: If we get married, stop smoking.
Akpors: Ok!
Girl: Drinking too.
Akpors: Ok!
Girl: N going to the night club too.
Akpors:- Yes.
Girl:-You stop watchin soccer matches with yo
boyz
Akpors: Okay!
Girl:- What else can u leave??
Akpors:- The idea of marrying You

Naomi wednesday 8 may 2014
A man does not want her daughter to marry Akpors.
Akpors decide to write letter to his girlfriend (Chi chci), he handed it to her in the presence of her father since he knows the father of the girl will also read it;
He wrote

LETTER OF HATE
(1) The great love, that I have for you.
(2) Is gone and I found my dislike for you.
(3) Grows everyday, when I see you.
(4) I do not even like your face.
(5) The one thing that I want to do is to
(6) Look at other girls, I never wanted to
(7) Marry you, our last conversation
(8) Was very boring and has not
(9) Made me look forward to see you again
(10) You think only of yourself
(11) If we were married, I know that I would find
(12) Life very difficult and I wouldn't have known
(13) Pleasure in living with you, I have a heart
(14) To give, but it is not something that
(15) I want to give you, no one is more
(16) Foolish and selfish than you and you are not
(17) Able to care for me and help me
(18) I sincerely want you to understand that
(19) I speak the truth. You will do me a favor
(20) If you think this is the end. Do not try
(21) To reply this. Your letters are full of
(22) Things that do not interest me. You haveno
(23) True love for me goodbye. Believe me
(24) I do not care for you, please do not think that
(25) I still love you and I am your boyfriend
(Read the odd numbers)

Naomi wednesday 8 may 2014
Akpors a graduate of Accounting ,wrote a letter to his GF Ekaitte
Love letter from an Accountant

In the Journal of my heart,
I have written a Journal Entry,
Debiting my love & crediting my affection,
Now partners, I write this Narration.
Your beauty is the Capital of our
business,
And your eyes are Stock In Trade,
Now let us enter into a Transaction,
Without providing Depreciation.
Your first love I have already indicated
On the Ledger Folio column,
Any way, our relations are based on
Double Entry System.
Our love is Real & Tangible proposals,
Which can be realized,
Interest on the same,
Can be capitalized.
Partner, you are like a Contra Entry,
You are on my Debit Side & Credit Side,
Both at the same time,
And so my partner now ,let us Rectify,
All our errors & total the Trial Balance,
Of our affairs & emotions,
Without maintaining any Suspense Account.
And any difference in the Trial Balance,
And In the Balance Sheet of our life.
Our children will be Assets & Liabilities,
If they are boys, shall we call them Sundry
Debtors?
If they are girls, shall we call them Sundry
Creditors?
But if we have a boy & a girl,
Our Balance Sheet will Tally automatically,
A balance Sheet
And the Auditor will certify thus,

"THE ACCOUNT SHOWS A TRUE & FAIR VIEW OF
LOVELY BUSINESS CONDUCTED DURING AkPORS and EKAITTE 's life Account
Your dying Accountant in love,
AKPORS

Naomi wednesday 8 may 2014
At a Wedding in a Church, the
Pastor said to the
Congregation; Is there any Man
or Woman here who knows
any thing that will make this
wedding not to go on? You may say it now or forever
remain silent. Akpors quickly stood up at
the back and started walking
towards the altar. The Bride
fainted, the Groom ran out of
the church. The Pastor gave Akpos
microphone to say what he
wantsto say. Akpors said; Pastor, please
show me the way to the
toilet, I want to poo.